The Treadle Hammer As Kitchen Aid

              (and Follow up Safety Article)


   The Oliver ( treadle hammer ) does a fine job of tenderizing

   abalone. Follow these hard-won tips.

   First, leave the ab foot whole, don't cut it. Scrub the foot

   bottom and sides with a stiff brush 'till the pigment's gone,

   just before pounding (preferably after a night in the fridge).

   Wrap a clean,old dish towel loosely around the foot to keep

   it from bouncing off the wall on the first swat.

   Use moderate strokes and listen to the thump. The pitch will

   abruptly drop just before the ab mushes. Feel the towel up for

   hard spots requiring special attention.

   Savor the smells of cooking ab over and over when you slap

   hot iron in your oliver ). mmmmmmm.Thump, mmmm

   Thump.mmmm

   It's possible to darn near potroast them when tenderized

   this way.

          Revenge Of The Abalone
       (The Followup Safety Article)


   It is with painful chagrin that I find myself writing the

   "safety follow-up" to my previous article regarding a quick and

   easy method of tenderizing abalone with a treadle hammer.

   It is especially galling because there is no one else to

   blame. I built the hammer to my own design from my own rusty

   stock of junk and proceeded to use my own foot to bring it down

   on my own thumb and finger. That turned out to be a mistake.

   For any beginners who might think it's kinda dramatic or

  romantic, let me advise, pass on it. For the folks who have been

   around a while and are still unscathed....It took me almost 30

   years to get around to it.

   Fifty people had distinctly told me not to stick my hand or

   fingers on the anvil and bring the hammer down. Many had never

   seen a treadle hammer before. I only blew it once.

   For a number of years, when iron work was not providing

   enough income to cover the groceries; I fed myself as a hunter-

   gatherer on wild plants and mushrooms, the odd road kill, a tad

   of poaching and way too much sea food. Living near the beach, sea

   food was easily available in a pinch and I was in a pinch

   frequently. Abalone, being a sort of snail, turned out to be one

   of the few sorts of game that I could sneak up on. As a

   result,I've eaten way more than my share of abs, more than a

   reasonable person should. Surely I owe them ; and surely they

   have had the patience to wait for a small revenge.

  The edges of the scraper-blade face on the oliver's (treadle

   hammer) anvil were partly annealed when welded in place and had

   rounded with use. As a result, the sacrifice plate that protects

   the anvil from my mistakes was flipping like a flapjack when

   struck off the center sweet spot.

   The first solution I tried was to build an edge bracket to

   hold the sacrifice plate in place. That helped some,and the

   plates still were easy to shift on and off for cutting or a more

   polished or textured work surface, not to mention, access to the

   hardy-hole below.

   The bracket was handy but, the anvil had to be ground flat

   to finally solve the problem.

   Thus there was a clean, shining anvil face to pound some abs

   on for dinner in the dusky evening light. We were eating abs

   because I'd gotten skunked fishing with poke-poles the day

   before... Just plain wallowed through too much poison-oak getting

   to the beach to go home empty handed.

   Off slid the sacrifice plate and on slid the ab feet wrapped

   in a clean old dish towel and down came the hammer quick and

   easy. It worked just fine except that the hardy hole in the T.H.

   anvil allowed for some peculiar squared extrusions seldom seen in

   any shop. As soon as the heavy pounding was done the abs had to

   be shifted around to get the peculiar extrusions and the tougher

   fringe of the ab's mantle nice and tender.

  Being darn near dainty-like, I was shifting the last

   flattened abalone for the last few blows with my thumb and middle

   finger when , out of the corner of my eye, I saw the orange tom

   cat sneak in the door of the shop. Orange and I have a little

   territorial dispute about how the shop smells best. I turned my

   head ,hissed at the cat and brought the hammer down. Then the

   abalone was completely tenderized and so was my thumb.

   What saved me to some degree was the sacrifice plate

   bracket. When I checked it later it proved to have stopped the

   hammer from bottoming by a bit less than an eighth of an inch

   (minus the abalone). Evidence would have it that I missed the

   hardy hole.

   I'd long since come to regard abalone as something between

   nostalgic and a poverty food. We ate that bloody abalone the

   next evening and let me tell you, that was the most expensive ab

   dinner I ever had.

   We'd all rather not think about the surgeries and the pins

   and plaster and you won't have to if you learn by this absolutely

   typical shop accident. Apparently intending to get it all done in

   one compact time frame, I proceeded to throw my back out and get

   the flu. Now that I'm even with the abs; I'm beginning to worry

   about the crabs.

   Seven weeks later thumb and finger are doing much better.

   First it was flat, then it was fat and now it no longer looks

   quite so much like it belongs between the polish sausage and the

   pig's feet at the meat counter. I do wish it would stop wiggling

   where there aren't any joints ,but at last I can triumphantly

   pick up a full beer with my left hand.

   The good news is that the surgeon will take ironwork for

   payment (gives 'em a vested interest in the outcome).

   Meanwhile, I've been thinking about a bigger hammer.

             OTHER ARTICLES
    "Trashhammers"         "Full Employment for Blacksmiths"
                                           "Rust"

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